Monday, October 22, 2007
I just saw something very disturbing.
Someone I wasn't very close to said something that indicated that I was smart a few years back. Sigh. And it isn't the first time. I'm not boasting but other people have said it too, but I just inist I'm not. I don't know if I should keep rejecting that statement because I honestly do not think I'm smart. I'm just average with a good memory, thats all. But if I keep forcing people to convince me that I'm smart by repeating their statement, isn't that wanting reassurance that I am indeed smart?
But what if I start thinking I'm smart and don't need to put in any work? I'll be so bitterly disappointed then. But it's nice to hear people say you're smart and not stupid. But will I turn complacent if I hear it one time too many? Then what'll happen? Will people start saying that if I was smart, I wouldn't think I was exceptional, because look! I'm becoming dumber and dumber because I decided that I was too smart for the books.
Ugh. I'm giving myself a terrible headache.
And of all times to blog about this. I thought I made 2 careless mistakes, but actually I didn't. Thank goodness.
I'm the only sixteen year old blogging now in entire Singapore, I swear.
See? My smart gene kicks in again. Apparently everybody needs to study (including the geniuses like Audrey Kang and Yu Rui) except me. I finished another book last night and this morning. How about that? Aah, maybe smart was meant in the smart-alecky way. <- See? I'm needing reassurance again. Don't give it, please.
"Heart dont fail me now
Courage don't desert me, dont turn back now that were here
People always say life is full of choices
No one ever mentions fear..."
Journey to the Past, Anastasia
ƒrom Alice • 19:58
Someone I wasn't very close to said something that indicated that I was smart a few years back. Sigh. And it isn't the first time. I'm not boasting but other people have said it too, but I just inist I'm not. I don't know if I should keep rejecting that statement because I honestly do not think I'm smart. I'm just average with a good memory, thats all. But if I keep forcing people to convince me that I'm smart by repeating their statement, isn't that wanting reassurance that I am indeed smart?
But what if I start thinking I'm smart and don't need to put in any work? I'll be so bitterly disappointed then. But it's nice to hear people say you're smart and not stupid. But will I turn complacent if I hear it one time too many? Then what'll happen? Will people start saying that if I was smart, I wouldn't think I was exceptional, because look! I'm becoming dumber and dumber because I decided that I was too smart for the books.
Ugh. I'm giving myself a terrible headache.
And of all times to blog about this. I thought I made 2 careless mistakes, but actually I didn't. Thank goodness.
I'm the only sixteen year old blogging now in entire Singapore, I swear.
See? My smart gene kicks in again. Apparently everybody needs to study (including the geniuses like Audrey Kang and Yu Rui) except me. I finished another book last night and this morning. How about that? Aah, maybe smart was meant in the smart-alecky way. <- See? I'm needing reassurance again. Don't give it, please.
"Heart dont fail me now
Courage don't desert me, dont turn back now that were here
People always say life is full of choices
No one ever mentions fear..."
Journey to the Past, Anastasia
